A Diary of Gratitude
April 12, 2010
I’ve made the decision to keep a diary of gratitude. The aim of this task is simple, to count my blessings. Each day I will share 5 gratitudes. So,moving swiftly ahead. Having this blog to share with you is numero une. Waking up in the morning and having a great clear view of Hoerrikwaggo and watching the big blue kiss the tip of her nose is numero deux. Numero trois is knowing and feeling my hands are perfectly healthy allowing me the delicious grace of being able to type, write, play guitar and cook up a Gordon Ramsay quick and easy meal. I am drinking a pot of buchu tea which not only smells divine but is keeping me healthy. So, done with numero quatre. Finally numero cinq, I have a fabulous room of my own in which to work. Yes, I am a lucky, lucky girl and I am smiling. Here’s to the gratitude diary! Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 13, 2010
I woke up this morning and really looked forward to writing my gratitude list. I have just returned from a forty minute run, the first in a long time and that felt really good. Gratitude number one, done. So with breakfast in the belly and buchu tea on the desk I am happy to be here writing away. Gratitude number two ticked off or should that be four gratitudes already viz: feelings of happiness; my favourite buchu tea; a healthy breakfast and writing. Mmm, let’s just move on. After breakfast I meditated and listened to all the sounds coming in from the garden and breathed deep into my belly. I have to admit that I really felt a great sense of peace. Whoa… what number are we at now? Lets see, the privilege of “time out” (one gratitude); “the practice of meditation” (one gratitude); the physical ability to “listen” (one gratitude); “sounds” both man-made and nature (two gratitudes); “a lovely garden”(one gratitude); “the physical ability to breathe with healthy lungs (one gratitude); “clean air” (one gratitude); a ”healthy belly”(one gratitude) and “feelings of peace” (one gratitude). Let’s add this up….. On second thoughts, I’ll leave you to do the maths. Right now I feel as though I’m standing under an energizing waterfall of gratitude and I’m definitely smiling. And did I mention that a glance through my office window, tells me that those irrepressible lovers, old big blue and Hoerrikwaggo are still flirting with each other. Seems he just can’s stop kissing the tip of her perfect nose. Sigh. “Oh loooove is a many spleeeeendid thing”… I feel a song coming on. Got to go. Have a splendid day. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 14, 2010
A misty morning greeted me on my run today and I welcomed the coolness it wrapped the morning in, making my run easier as I chugged along like a steam train. Lead by the sun I challenged myself physically and mentally again and yes by the end of the run I was out of breathe with aching muscles in places I never knew existed. But hey right now I feel good because I made the conscious choice to take care of myself. Running and or walking regularly is my choice to live a well balanced life. Some days I’m on it and some days I slip back under the duvet cover. And that’s perfectly fine as well. Today I choose to eat healthily and yes every now and then I allow myself the sidetrack of special treats, a girl has got to have some fun. But I’m right on track today. My intentions are: 1) to meditate, even if it is only ten minutes or less. 2) take time out. 3) create and play. 4) work on the songs for my forthcoming CD. 5) trust that everything is exactly as it should be. So, for today I affirm my value and my worth by choosing a healthy and holistic lifestyle. Is there really any other option? All I know is that when I honour myself, my joy graph flies through the ceiling and my productivity levels soars. Being human I falter on this path, but I am learning that the sum of my flaws and strengths make magnificent me. So my gratitudes today are plenty. Gratitude for my body, mind and soul that works like a well-oiled machine giving me the gift of choice so that I can choose to breathe, sit, meditate, walk, run, dance, play, sing and work. And my song for today is… “Oh I ….I… I got work to do ooh, I got work to do baby. Work, work, work, work” ( by the Isley Brothers?). Okay that song just aged me. Time to go oh oh oh .I.. I.. I got work to doo oooooh. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 15, 2010
I am sitting in my gown snuggled in the womb of my office. And through the window I watch the day watching me, waiting patiently to see what’s next on my agenda. Well the weather conditions were perfect for my run this morning, cool and breezy. But I must confess that I nearly didn’t make it out of bed. You see, observing Hoerrikwaggo fast asleep under her cloudy coverlet always makes me want to emulate her ability to indulge herself and hide from the challenges of the day. But, I have made a commitment to honour every aspect of who I am and I am sticking to it come what may. I have cultivated the habit of reading a page of inspirational text each morning as part of my spiritual practice. Each reading brings the hope that I will find words to inspire me and it is my proactive way of kick-starting my day and I love it. This morning I read an excerpt from “three deep breaths” by Thomas Crum and this sentence stood out like nubbly Braille under fingertips, “I’ve got to get my energy and my joy back”. So there it is. Now you know that I haven’t really been upfront with you. My root intention all along has been to get my energy and my joy back. Somewhere, somehow whilst being caught up in the busy-ness of doing my life, I let my joy slip by and my energy fizzled to zero. And that’s why cultivating an attitude of gratitude is top of my to–do list right now. I am realising that my attitude to my choices is the key. I also recognise that having choices to make is a gift, whether they are difficult or easy, the opposite could be no choices at all. Knowing that the day is waiting for me to write my story on the board of sky is a gift, even if I have no clue as to what I shall write. The gift is knowing that I can begin again, to write and create something new. Knowing that I have the opportunity to record my new CD this year is a gift I have been waiting for, for a long time even though I have no idea who will be marketing and distributing it. I am learning to let go of my fears and not allow them to hold me back or kill my passion. I am learning to trust that everything always works out as it must and that the gifts I need will come to me. I am learning how to walk with arms wide open so that I can receive gifts from others with grace. I am learning the gift of patience, how everything comes at its own pace. I am learning how to walk the gift, of one step at a time. So yes I am firmly committed to acknowledging and affirming the gifts offered to me daily (which are free by the way) and if by doing so I get my energy and my joy back, watch out world you won’t be able to hold me back. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 16, 2010
Angel clouds were circling above me as I looked up on my run today, making me smile like a child. The first sixty seconds of the run was great, as I marvelled at my “deursettings vermoe” (love those words) at keeping up with my programme and felt genuine gratitude for the beautiful day. But thereafter, figuratively speaking, things went downhill as loss of breath and straining muscles threatened to sabotage the run. Instantly it turned into a case of mind over matter as I tried to still the conversation in my brain. Umm…. did I say conversation? Sorry. Mistake. It was a cacophony of voices in my head talking past each other. Allow me to invite you into the scary world of my brain. Here various characters reside. Each one considers it his or her moral duty to comment or give advice on any action I choose to engage in. Feel free to observe them and their comments.
The General – You will do this run even if it kills you.
The Guilt-tripper – If you don’t finish this run, you are a failure.
The Whinger – Stop. I can’t do this any more, Can’t you see I’m tired.
The Victim – Just give me a break. Haven’t I done enough already?
The Lizard-lounger – Come On. Let’s just relax and take the day off?
The Whip-lasher -You will run you lazy good for nothing.
The Cheerleader - Say after me, I can do this. Yes I can. I can do this…
The Inspirational speaker – You can do anything you set you mind to.
The Visionary – Our next run is the Two Oceans Marathon.
The Nationalist – Do it for your country.
The Gender advocate – Do it for all women in your lineage, your country, the world and the universe
The Gym instructor – Release the flab. Burn the flab. Release the flab. Burn the Flab
My Inner Kugel- Go girl go. Fabulous! Ahh… she’s so wonderful.
Told you it was scary. So whilst my council of advisors dished out gems of wisdom, I inhaled and exhaled and just kept running. Breathing and running. Breathing and running. Breathing and running. Breathing and running. And just like that I found myself happily settling into the runner’s zone, that space where the noise of irrelevant distraction fades into the background and is no longer of consequence. It felt like being in a time warp where time stands still. All that mattered was being present in the action of breathing and running and that’s when I came into my stride. Before I knew it I was hitting the home straight and the feeling of joy it gave me was pure luxury. So what are my gratitudes today? The gift of breathing; the gift of being in the runner’s zone – present in action; the gift of “deursettings vermoe”; the gift of scary but entertaining advisors; the gift of laughing at myself; the gift of circling angel clouds and last but not least the gift of looking up. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 17, 2010
I am writing a new song and watching the words claim their space on the page. This is exciting. I know for certain the song is already written, all I need to do is trust that it will reveal itself soon. I am learning patience. I am feeling tired and need to sleep. Lucky me, I have the time-out and will be taking a nap in 10 minutes. Yeah! I have a quiet space to rest in. A simple perfect blessing. I was present at the Fundraiser Concert for Haiti at St Georges Cathedral last night and I am inspired by the wealth of musicians this city is home to. I am filled with pride and gratitude for the gift of their talent and time, so freely given. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 19, 2010
Two views from my window
Outside my window I see another day. The cold morning has the sky wrapped up in its grey velvet cloak and me in my blue gown. For many the vision of a smoky sky is likened to an unwelcome guest who has drawn the curtain on a sunny day. The sun has deserted her throne. She is gone. I watch brown puddles of water form on the ground. The day is cold, wet and muddy. I listen to the falling rain playing its old familiar song. It is constant. Unrelenting. It is the same. For many the rain is a necessary hindrance to be tolerated. Does the weather subconsciously act as my emotional indicator for the day? Does rain equal – a miserable day; a cold day; a depressing day, a grumpy day? What is my mood today?
Outside my window I see a different day. The crisp morning has the sky fashionably dressed up in her grey velvet cloak ready to take on the challenges of the new day. I listen to the rain playing her comfortingly familiar song. It is the same but it is different. I watch the soft showers wiping down yesterday’s dust, giving everything a fresh-faced look, a brighter beginning. For many the vision of a smoky sky is an answered prayer; the promise of much needed rain and a plentiful harvest; a blessing. For many the coming of rain is a time to dance and a time for celebration. As for the sun, I know that hidden behind the curtain of grey it is shining brilliantly. Each day with its changing weather conditions is simplyly a different angle from which to view the kaleidoscope of the world. My constant emotional indicator is the sun, always present; always shining; always hope-full; always the same; always different. What is my mood today? I am definitely wrapping up warmly and donning my fashionably elegant grey velvet coat, as I step out into the blessing that is the rain. As for the day’s gratitude’s, my cup is filled already and the morning has just begun. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 20, 2010
I am loving the CD “Opera meets Jazz” today. A wonderful collection of songs, played by pianist/ composer/arranger. Mike Del Ferro. This beautiful CD has my heart singing and dancing. The track “Recondita Armonia” by composers Tosca and Puccini is playing and Toots Thielemans, the world greatest harmonica player is the soloist. Beautiful. How is it possible that someone from centuries and oceans away wrote a song that found its way to my room, which is now filling my office with sweet, enveloping and entrancing music. I feel like dancing. Pause… long pause. I have just returned from a good dance around my small space. I am all shaken up and stirred and I am happy. I think everybody should dance more. You know what, I commit to having one dance each morning to get my body, mind and spirit buzzing on the right frequency, ready to take on the day. I find it amazing that Tosca and Puccini’s work inspired Mike to record their song in his own inimitable way. He in turn invited the incredible Toots to play along, and together they recorded this song and many more that has me running on full. The wheel of inspiration just keeps turning and turning. This is the art of possibility in action. This is the magic of following your own chosen path. You never know what exciting place it’s going to take you to and just who will be listening. And yes sometimes you wind up at a dead-end but often it takes you to places unimaginable and that’s why I love it. That’s why I keep doing what I do, writing songs and telling stories in the hope of leaving something of value to the world and the anticipation of wondering what magical journey lies in store. Added to that, I write in the hope that centuries from now someone, somewhere, near and far will be reading my story or singing my song and that thought just fires me up inside. My gratitude’s today goes to the aforementioned musicians whose stellar talent and exceptional delivery of these beautiful songs have put me one step closer to living my joy. They have reminded me once again that there’s an exquisite joy that comes with sharing your unique gift, whatever that may be. And yes each of us has that unique gift. There are no exceptions. Sometimes we lose touch with our true calling. It happens. But when it does, it is important to remember to take time out to enjoy the gifts of others. Allowing yourself the gift of receiving will reignite your joy. I am grateful to all artists whose gifts inspire me to rediscover my joy. Reminding me once again that the gratitudes are everywhere, you just have to keep your eyes or ears open. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 21, 2010
This morning I received an email from a woman who hired me for a company performance I did two months ago. I am still awaiting payment. This was being processed by her staff who had avoided my calls, rather than face up to the embarrassing consequence of losing my invoice and other necessary documents required to process the payment. She apologised and expressed her frustration with them and her willingness to sort the problem out promptly. Understandably my frustration, anger and disappointment has been growing and finally like volcanic ash erupted all over my garden yesterday as I wept in frustration. Thereafter, I went to my computer and calmly wrote an email to her (their superior), expressing my deep disappointment and requested her urgent attention, hence her reply, which I deeply appreciated. As I write this I feel a painful twitch in my face, so I remind myself to Breathe. Inhale ………….. Hold………. Exhale………… Inhale………Hold…… ..Exhale……… As I exhale I hear a soft but audible moan escape from my mouth. This is good. Expressing one’s frustration, anger and disappointment is healthy. I am learning to give vent to my emotions when they arise. I am learning that I can “breathe”, take in what I need to replenish myself. I am learning to and “hold”, behold my value and worth. I am learning that I can choose to exhale, let go of my anger and be proactive. At first I felt disrespected and dishonoured, but then after a closer look I realised that this had nothing to do with me. Their inability to deal with the situation professionally did not translate into disrespect for me. Being upset was only natural, as their action directly impacted on me, but the problem was not mine to invest in. So I contacted a debt collector and handed over the problem. I am at peace now. What I definitely will do differently next time is confirm a payment date to avoid waiting and growing my frustration. More than that, I feel happy knowing that I dealt with the situation in a professional and honourable way. Now I choose to let go and trust that things will work out in the end. What are my gratitudes today? The gift of challenging situations that remind me that I am the only one who must affirm, honour, respect and celebrate myself at all times. That is my responsibility and nobody’ else’s. Can I do that? Yes I can. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 22, 2010
As I swung my feet onto the floor searching for my slippers this morning, my eyes fell on a bold caption of a magazine, which read “Rise and Shine”. I believe that everyday we are given cues to guide us. They come in many guises. It could be something someone says; a billboard or street sign; a caption or quote in a book of magazine. There are so many out there you just have to keep your eyes and ears open. Some are subtle and some obvious, but they are always present and today “rise and shine” is my mantra. My best book of all times is the dictionary. I am a simple girl. Reading up the meaning of words is one of my favourite pastimes and I love nothing better that feeding my hunger for words. The feel of a new word on my tongue is second to none. As for the fact that our brains have the capacity to store so many words and so much information in its quirky construction of grey matter, well this keeps me in perpetual awe. How does it do this? How does it manage to store everything in designated files and constantly be at the ready to pop up the required word at exactly the right time? And like a magician it has the added touch of arranging these words and concepts in a coherent structure, to form the perfect sentence. Just another ordinary miracle shining on life’s roadside and unseen by so many. But getting back to cues, this morning was an opportune moment to indulge myself and look up my “cue “words for the day. My straight-forward and trusted friend, the Oxford dictionary had these pearls of wisdom to share: Rise – to grow or extend upwards; to get up from lying or sitting in bed; to cease to sit for business; to come to life again; to begin to blow more strongly; to become visible above the horizon; to increase in amount number or intensity; to achieve a higher rank or status; to begin to flow; an increase in wages.
Shine – to give out or reflect light; to be bright, to glow; to be visible and not obscured by clouds; to excel in someway; to direct the light onto something; to polish; to take a liking to.
Perfectly presented, a myriad of clues pointing in the right direction and I gratefully accept the leads. Being faced by the many things I wish to do for the year, often has me running for cover and feeling overwhelmed. How do I begin? Where do I begin? What are my priorities? What is my vision? What do I work on? What do I let go of? Before that sends me scuttling off like an ostrich burying its head in the sand, I am going to breathe… and hold… and exhale…. Yes the art of meditation can be applied to all situations. Having meditated (albeit for two seconds) I am calmer and more focused now. So beginning with the word rise, the cue to extend myself upwards has me considering the possibility of enrolling in a few courses that will enrich and grow my different and varied creative gifts a more in-depth way. I also like the advice of moving forward into action. Pro-action is the key. Making business opportunities for myself instead of waiting for others to proposition me with work, puts me in control of my planned vision and it is a great confidence booster. I like the cue of blowing more strongly and becoming more visible above the horizon. Recognising the value of my work and making it more available to others by putting more of my products out on the market will grow my brand. This action will be a catalyst for more work and increased wages leaving me open to receive these gifts. As for shining, I definitely can do that. Polishing up on my gifts with focused dedication will result in a shining display of my work that will be hard to ignore. Being bold and brave in the projects I take on, makes my work available and visible for all to see. And not being obscured by clouds is great advice. I know that the brilliance of the sun is constant behind clouds and challenges like clouds are temporary. They can’t detract me from my mission to do what I do best. Finally, I am taking a liking to my shiny myself and it makes me feel good …. I feel a song coming on……I feeeeeeeeeeel good…ta ta ralalaa ta ralalaa… I feel good… so good. Effortlessly my gratitudes are rising and like the sun they are shining abundantly. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 23, 2010
Someone commented that perhaps I should rise earlier after I had expressed my frustration at having limited time during the day due to various commitments. Facing the truth is hard. Facing my own truth is harder. At first I was angry but then my inner listener kicked in and patted me on the shoulder, stroked my wounded pride and calmly walked me out of the room. Together we committed too finding the positive in that statement. Running is perfect when one needs to work through issues. So I moved into the day and focused on breathing and running and subconsciously bumped into the word time-management who asked me this blunt questions. Are you really managing your time well or do you allow small unnecessary tasks to keep you from doing the important things that will make a difference in your life? I have to confess it got me thinking. On my return home I immediately wrote out a daily planning schedule,which outlines the tasks I need to fulfil for the day. It took me a little while to do, but now I have a cohesive plan. I am eager to see if it makes a difference. My gut tells me it will. I am smiling as I embrace today’s many gifts.
a) good advise-however awkwardly it comes packaged
b) my gut – that perfect barometer that always tells me the truth
c) my inner listener who is clear-headed and always finding the positive
d) the ever-changing but always perfect weather
e) running
f) planning
g) the time to act and do the things that will bring me joy
My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 13, 2010
Last night the CT 4 Haiti concert rocked. What an amazing audience. Thank you. What an amazing line-up of exceptional musicians we can be proud of. Wow. I went home inspired and in awe of the talent that hit the Richter scale at 10. Today I feel so alive and song seeds are running around in my head, newly sprung from the rich and diverse offerings of music that scattered the room with magical stardust last night. So many wonderful artists, too many to mention, each with a unique offering that enraptured and captured the attention of the audience. Thank you family of musicians, your commitment and dedication to music has helped reaffirm why the gift of sharing music is my vocation. Adding to the evening, professional and exceptional sound technicians buoyed us on the waves of technology, a vital element that we could not have done without. Thank you. Then thumbs up to our generous sponsors whose vision and open hearts ensured the financial backing of the production. Pivotal to it all, the committed and driven organiser Gavin Minter helped bring the evening to perfect fruition. I swear, from where I was sitting, I could see his angel wings. But best of all was the continuous cycle of giving and receiving happening between artist and audience. It was just phenomenal, resulting in a win-win evening for all. Last night was a night of giving, receiving, remembering, supporting, honouring and celebrating our human connection. Long may this evening live in our hearts’ memory, as a tribute to the extraordinary potential in each of us, which patiently waits to be discovered and held to the light. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 17, 2010
I have just laid down my guitar after rehearsing the five final songs for the forthcoming recording and you know what, I am feeling that it is all doable. Yes! I love the way time has a way of smoothing things over that a short while ago looked like an insurmountable mountain. One step at a time really does work. I have also noticed that I have a tendency to be a “Moaning Minnie”. What’s that about? Well it has forced me to look at myself and affirm that the label “victim” is not one I am comfortable with, so I’ve wiped that off my list and replaced it with Proactive PositiveTina. I definitely can live with that. Here’s to the joy of many gratitudes, especially the circle of friends around which my being literally shines as we travel arm in arm through life’s known and unknown destinations. Here’s to the passion which drives each of us to live our lives with intent, purpose and commitment to our vocation of choice. Here’s to the gratitude of recognising the irrefutable truth that artists bring an immeasurable soul to the world, without which life would be valueless. Here’s to the gratitude of learning how to see with ones own eyes the priceless gift we each are to the world and learning how to stand tall and true in ones self-worth. And so it is with gratitude that I salute the miracle alive and present in each of you. Long may your soul-light shine and cast its luminescence on this earth. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 18, 2010
This morning a fresh song danced on my lips, happy to finally be sung, ”Smile” because you can, its simple to dimple up your cheeks and watch it fly across a space, its infectious and catchy too. Charlie Chaplin knew what he was writing about when he wrote the song “Smile”. Something about smiling is just irresistible. When I was a child, I loved being smiled at by strangers… no I’m not talking about the dirty old men kind of smiles. Let’s rewind here. I am talking about the smile one person gives to another, which says hello I see you, I recognise you as a human being. Just that simple act of communication and heart connection has always given me hope in humanity. Of course nothing quite beats the smile from a child, pure love beaming 100 percent. Now that’s a smile I can have any day. Miles of smiles have lighted my life’s journey, the smile of a friend returning my joy at seeing them; the smile in my sons’ eyes when he says I love you; the collaborative smile of a musician enjoying a special moment on stage; the smile of the sun on a balmy day, the smile of the wind caressing my skin; the smiles from a class of children when sharing of hearts and minds has begun. I love these miles and miles of smiles. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 21, 2010
Today I am feeling optimistic and putting out the call for gifts to come my way. You see next week I’m recording my second CD. I can’t wait to share it with you. My challenge now is finding sponsorship for each element of the production costs. I believe it’s all doable. If you would like to sponsor an aspect of the production or know of anyone or business in the position to do so, please contact me at tina@tinaschouw.co.za. I’m feeling lucky and any leads would be welcome. I feel privileged to be in the position of inviting assistance and receiving gifts. Already it has begun and for this i am deeply grateful. Sharing the gift of my creative work has blessed me with the love and support of family, friends and fans. Knowing that the work I do soothes, heals uplifts and inspires others, keeps me focused on ensuring that I get my work out there. I am indebted to the wonderful family of musicians, sound engineers, producers, financial advisors and supporters and music lovers whose abundant gifting has kept me writing and doing what I do. Every time I stumble and watch self-doubt smirking from the sidelines, I am able to stand up in the certainty that the unique gift present in me, as it is in each of us, has a right to be proud. And the moment I do that, I hear the retreating footsteps of self-doubt fading into the distance. Each day is a challenge to meet my own measure of how I perceive my work and understand it value. The trick is how to stand true in the belief of what I do when faced by others who measure my value from a different angle. I do know for sure that seeing differently is good because it broadens my vision and grows me to understand the true meaning of compassion and unconditional love. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
A Diary of Gratitude
April 12, 2010
I’ve made the decision to keep a diary of gratitude. The aim of this task is simple, to count my blessings. Each day I will share 5 gratitudes. So,moving swiftly ahead. Having this blog to share with you is numero une. Waking up in the morning and having a great clear view of Hoerrikwaggo and watching the big blue kiss the tip of her nose is numero deux. Numero trois is knowing and feeling my hands are perfectly healthy allowing me the delicious grace of being able to type, write, play guitar and cook up a Gordon Ramsay quick and easy meal. I am drinking a pot of buchu tea which not only smells divine but is keeping me healthy. So, done with numero quatre. Finally numero cinq, I have a fabulous room of my own in which to work. Yes, I am a lucky, lucky girl and I am smiling. Here’s to the gratitude diary! Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 13, 2010
I woke up this morning and really looked forward to writing my gratitude list. I have just returned from a forty minute run, the first in a long time and that felt really good. Gratitude number one, done. So with breakfast in the belly and buchu tea on the desk I am happy to be here writing away. Gratitude number two ticked off or should that be four gratitudes already viz: feelings of happiness; my favourite buchu tea; a healthy breakfast and writing. Mmm, let’s just move on. After breakfast I meditated and listened to all the sounds coming in from the garden and breathed deep into my belly. I have to admit that I really felt a great sense of peace. Whoa… what number are we at now? Lets see, the privilege of “time out” (one gratitude); “the practice of meditation” (one gratitude); the physical ability to “listen” (one gratitude); “sounds” both man-made and nature (two gratitudes); “a lovely garden”(one gratitude); “the physical ability to breathe with healthy lungs (one gratitude); “clean air” (one gratitude); a ”healthy belly”(one gratitude) and “feelings of peace” (one gratitude). Let’s add this up….. On second thoughts, I’ll leave you to do the maths. Right now I feel as though I’m standing under an energizing waterfall of gratitude and I’m definitely smiling. And did I mention that a glance through my office window, tells me that those irrepressible lovers, old big blue and Hoerrikwaggo are still flirting with each other. Seems he just can’s stop kissing the tip of her perfect nose. Sigh. “Oh loooove is a many spleeeeendid thing”… I feel a song coming on. Got to go. Have a splendid day. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 14, 2010
A misty morning greeted me on my run today and I welcomed the coolness it wrapped the morning in, making my run easier as I chugged along like a steam train. Lead by the sun I challenged myself physically and mentally again and yes by the end of the run I was out of breathe with aching muscles in places I never knew existed. But hey right now I feel good because I made the conscious choice to take care of myself. Running and or walking regularly is my choice to live a well balanced life. Some days I’m on it and some days I slip back under the duvet cover. And that’s perfectly fine as well. Today I choose to eat healthily and yes every now and then I allow myself the sidetrack of special treats, a girl has got to have some fun. But I’m right on track today. My intentions are: 1) to meditate, even if it is only ten minutes or less. 2) take time out. 3) create and play. 4) work on the songs for my forthcoming CD. 5) trust that everything is exactly as it should be. So, for today I affirm my value and my worth by choosing a healthy and holistic lifestyle. Is there really any other option? All I know is that when I honour myself, my joy graph flies through the ceiling and my productivity levels soars. Being human I falter on this path, but I am learning that the sum of my flaws and strengths make magnificent me. So my gratitudes today are plenty. Gratitude for my body, mind and soul that works like a well-oiled machine giving me the gift of choice so that I can choose to breathe, sit, meditate, walk, run, dance, play, sing and work. And my song for today is… “Oh I ….I… I got work to do ooh, I got work to do baby. Work, work, work, work” ( by the Isley Brothers?). Okay that song just aged me. Time to go oh oh oh .I.. I.. I got work to doo oooooh. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 15, 2010
I am sitting in my gown snuggled in the womb of my office. And through the window I watch the day watching me, waiting patiently to see what’s next on my agenda. Well the weather conditions were perfect for my run this morning, cool and breezy. But I must confess that I nearly didn’t make it out of bed. You see, observing Hoerrikwaggo fast asleep under her cloudy coverlet always makes me want to emulate her ability to indulge herself and hide from the challenges of the day. But, I have made a commitment to honour every aspect of who I am and I am sticking to it come what may. I have cultivated the habit of reading a page of inspirational text each morning as part of my spiritual practice. Each reading brings the hope that I will find words to inspire me and it is my proactive way of kick-starting my day and I love it. This morning I read an excerpt from “three deep breaths” by Thomas Crum and this sentence stood out like nubbly Braille under fingertips, “I’ve got to get my energy and my joy back”. So there it is. Now you know that I haven’t really been upfront with you. My root intention all along has been to get my energy and my joy back. Somewhere, somehow whilst being caught up in the busy-ness of doing my life, I let my joy slip by and my energy fizzled to zero. And that’s why cultivating an attitude of gratitude is top of my to–do list right now. I am realising that my attitude to my choices is the key. I also recognise that having choices to make is a gift, whether they are difficult or easy, the opposite could be no choices at all. Knowing that the day is waiting for me to write my story on the board of sky is a gift, even if I have no clue as to what I shall write. The gift is knowing that I can begin again, to write and create something new. Knowing that I have the opportunity to record my new CD this year is a gift I have been waiting for, for a long time even though I have no idea who will be marketing and distributing it. I am learning to let go of my fears and not allow them to hold me back or kill my passion. I am learning to trust that everything always works out as it must and that the gifts I need will come to me. I am learning how to walk with arms wide open so that I can receive gifts from others with grace. I am learning the gift of patience, how everything comes at its own pace. I am learning how to walk the gift, of one step at a time. So yes I am firmly committed to acknowledging and affirming the gifts offered to me daily (which are free by the way) and if by doing so I get my energy and my joy back, watch out world you won’t be able to hold me back. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 16, 2010
Angel clouds were circling above me as I looked up on my run today, making me smile like a child. The first sixty seconds of the run was great, as I marvelled at my “deursettings vermoe” (love those words) at keeping up with my programme and felt genuine gratitude for the beautiful day. But thereafter, figuratively speaking, things went downhill as loss of breath and straining muscles threatened to sabotage the run. Instantly it turned into a case of mind over matter as I tried to still the conversation in my brain. Umm…. did I say conversation? Sorry. Mistake. It was a cacophony of voices in my head talking past each other. Allow me to invite you into the scary world of my brain. Here various characters reside. Each one considers it his or her moral duty to comment or give advice on any action I choose to engage in. Feel free to observe them and their comments.
The General – You will do this run even if it kills you.
The Guilt-tripper – If you don’t finish this run, you are a failure.
The Whinger – Stop. I can’t do this any more, Can’t you see I’m tired.
The Victim – Just give me a break. Haven’t I done enough already?
The Lizard-lounger – Come On. Let’s just relax and take the day off?
The Whip-lasher -You will run you lazy good for nothing.
The Cheerleader - Say after me, I can do this. Yes I can. I can do this…
The Inspirational speaker – You can do anything you set you mind to.
The Visionary – Our next run is the Two Oceans Marathon.
The Nationalist – Do it for your country.
The Gender advocate – Do it for all women in your lineage, your country, the world and the universe
The Gym instructor – Release the flab. Burn the flab. Release the flab. Burn the Flab
My Inner Kugel- Go girl go. Fabulous! Ahh… she’s so wonderful.
Told you it was scary. So whilst my council of advisors dished out gems of wisdom, I inhaled and exhaled and just kept running. Breathing and running. Breathing and running. Breathing and running. Breathing and running. And just like that I found myself happily settling into the runner’s zone, that space where the noise of irrelevant distraction fades into the background and is no longer of consequence. It felt like being in a time warp where time stands still. All that mattered was being present in the action of breathing and running and that’s when I came into my stride. Before I knew it I was hitting the home straight and the feeling of joy it gave me was pure luxury. So what are my gratitudes today? The gift of breathing; the gift of being in the runner’s zone – present in action; the gift of “deursettings vermoe”; the gift of scary but entertaining advisors; the gift of laughing at myself; the gift of circling angel clouds and last but not least the gift of looking up. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 17, 2010
I am writing a new song and watching the words claim their space on the page. This is exciting. I know for certain the song is already written, all I need to do is trust that it will reveal itself soon. I am learning patience. I am feeling tired and need to sleep. Lucky me, I have the time-out and will be taking a nap in 10 minutes. Yeah! I have a quiet space to rest in. A simple perfect blessing. I was present at the Fundraiser Concert for Haiti at St Georges Cathedral last night and I am inspired by the wealth of musicians this city is home to. I am filled with pride and gratitude for the gift of their talent and time, so freely given. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 19, 2010
Two views from my window
Outside my window I see another day. The cold morning has the sky wrapped up in its grey velvet cloak and me in my blue gown. For many the vision of a smoky sky is likened to an unwelcome guest who has drawn the curtain on a sunny day. The sun has deserted her throne. She is gone. I watch brown puddles of water form on the ground. The day is cold, wet and muddy. I listen to the falling rain playing its old familiar song. It is constant. Unrelenting. It is the same. For many the rain is a necessary hindrance to be tolerated. Does the weather subconsciously act as my emotional indicator for the day? Does rain equal – a miserable day; a cold day; a depressing day, a grumpy day? What is my mood today?
Outside my window I see a different day. The crisp morning has the sky fashionably dressed up in her grey velvet cloak ready to take on the challenges of the new day. I listen to the rain playing her comfortingly familiar song. It is the same but it is different. I watch the soft showers wiping down yesterday’s dust, giving everything a fresh-faced look, a brighter beginning. For many the vision of a smoky sky is an answered prayer; the promise of much needed rain and a plentiful harvest; a blessing. For many the coming of rain is a time to dance and a time for celebration. As for the sun, I know that hidden behind the curtain of grey it is shining brilliantly. Each day with its changing weather conditions is simplyly a different angle from which to view the kaleidoscope of the world. My constant emotional indicator is the sun, always present; always shining; always hope-full; always the same; always different. What is my mood today? I am definitely wrapping up warmly and donning my fashionably elegant grey velvet coat, as I step out into the blessing that is the rain. As for the day’s gratitude’s, my cup is filled already and the morning has just begun. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 20, 2010
I am loving the CD “Opera meets Jazz” today. A wonderful collection of songs, played by pianist/ composer/arranger. Mike Del Ferro. This beautiful CD has my heart singing and dancing. The track “Recondita Armonia” by composers Tosca and Puccini is playing and Toots Thielemans, the world greatest harmonica player is the soloist. Beautiful. How is it possible that someone from centuries and oceans away wrote a song that found its way to my room, which is now filling my office with sweet, enveloping and entrancing music. I feel like dancing. Pause… long pause. I have just returned from a good dance around my small space. I am all shaken up and stirred and I am happy. I think everybody should dance more. You know what, I commit to having one dance each morning to get my body, mind and spirit buzzing on the right frequency, ready to take on the day. I find it amazing that Tosca and Puccini’s work inspired Mike to record their song in his own inimitable way. He in turn invited the incredible Toots to play along, and together they recorded this song and many more that has me running on full. The wheel of inspiration just keeps turning and turning. This is the art of possibility in action. This is the magic of following your own chosen path. You never know what exciting place it’s going to take you to and just who will be listening. And yes sometimes you wind up at a dead-end but often it takes you to places unimaginable and that’s why I love it. That’s why I keep doing what I do, writing songs and telling stories in the hope of leaving something of value to the world and the anticipation of wondering what magical journey lies in store. Added to that, I write in the hope that centuries from now someone, somewhere, near and far will be reading my story or singing my song and that thought just fires me up inside. My gratitude’s today goes to the aforementioned musicians whose stellar talent and exceptional delivery of these beautiful songs have put me one step closer to living my joy. They have reminded me once again that there’s an exquisite joy that comes with sharing your unique gift, whatever that may be. And yes each of us has that unique gift. There are no exceptions. Sometimes we lose touch with our true calling. It happens. But when it does, it is important to remember to take time out to enjoy the gifts of others. Allowing yourself the gift of receiving will reignite your joy. I am grateful to all artists whose gifts inspire me to rediscover my joy. Reminding me once again that the gratitudes are everywhere, you just have to keep your eyes or ears open. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 21, 2010
This morning I received an email from a woman who hired me for a company performance I did two months ago. I am still awaiting payment. This was being processed by her staff who had avoided my calls, rather than face up to the embarrassing consequence of losing my invoice and other necessary documents required to process the payment. She apologised and expressed her frustration with them and her willingness to sort the problem out promptly. Understandably my frustration, anger and disappointment has been growing and finally like volcanic ash erupted all over my garden yesterday as I wept in frustration. Thereafter, I went to my computer and calmly wrote an email to her (their superior), expressing my deep disappointment and requested her urgent attention, hence her reply, which I deeply appreciated. As I write this I feel a painful twitch in my face, so I remind myself to Breathe. Inhale ………….. Hold………. Exhale………… Inhale………Hold…… ..Exhale……… As I exhale I hear a soft but audible moan escape from my mouth. This is good. Expressing one’s frustration, anger and disappointment is healthy. I am learning to give vent to my emotions when they arise. I am learning that I can “breathe”, take in what I need to replenish myself. I am learning to and “hold”, behold my value and worth. I am learning that I can choose to exhale, let go of my anger and be proactive. At first I felt disrespected and dishonoured, but then after a closer look I realised that this had nothing to do with me. Their inability to deal with the situation professionally did not translate into disrespect for me. Being upset was only natural, as their action directly impacted on me, but the problem was not mine to invest in. So I contacted a debt collector and handed over the problem. I am at peace now. What I definitely will do differently next time is confirm a payment date to avoid waiting and growing my frustration. More than that, I feel happy knowing that I dealt with the situation in a professional and honourable way. Now I choose to let go and trust that things will work out in the end. What are my gratitudes today? The gift of challenging situations that remind me that I am the only one who must affirm, honour, respect and celebrate myself at all times. That is my responsibility and nobody’ else’s. Can I do that? Yes I can. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 22, 2010
As I swung my feet onto the floor searching for my slippers this morning, my eyes fell on a bold caption of a magazine, which read “Rise and Shine”. I believe that everyday we are given cues to guide us. They come in many guises. It could be something someone says; a billboard or street sign; a caption or quote in a book of magazine. There are so many out there you just have to keep your eyes and ears open. Some are subtle and some obvious, but they are always present and today “rise and shine” is my mantra. My best book of all times is the dictionary. I am a simple girl. Reading up the meaning of words is one of my favourite pastimes and I love nothing better that feeding my hunger for words. The feel of a new word on my tongue is second to none. As for the fact that our brains have the capacity to store so many words and so much information in its quirky construction of grey matter, well this keeps me in perpetual awe. How does it do this? How does it manage to store everything in designated files and constantly be at the ready to pop up the required word at exactly the right time? And like a magician it has the added touch of arranging these words and concepts in a coherent structure, to form the perfect sentence. Just another ordinary miracle shining on life’s roadside and unseen by so many. But getting back to cues, this morning was an opportune moment to indulge myself and look up my “cue “words for the day. My straight-forward and trusted friend, the Oxford dictionary had these pearls of wisdom to share: Rise – to grow or extend upwards; to get up from lying or sitting in bed; to cease to sit for business; to come to life again; to begin to blow more strongly; to become visible above the horizon; to increase in amount number or intensity; to achieve a higher rank or status; to begin to flow; an increase in wages.
Shine – to give out or reflect light; to be bright, to glow; to be visible and not obscured by clouds; to excel in someway; to direct the light onto something; to polish; to take a liking to.
Perfectly presented, a myriad of clues pointing in the right direction and I gratefully accept the leads. Being faced by the many things I wish to do for the year, often has me running for cover and feeling overwhelmed. How do I begin? Where do I begin? What are my priorities? What is my vision? What do I work on? What do I let go of? Before that sends me scuttling off like an ostrich burying its head in the sand, I am going to breathe… and hold… and exhale…. Yes the art of meditation can be applied to all situations. Having meditated (albeit for two seconds) I am calmer and more focused now. So beginning with the word rise, the cue to extend myself upwards has me considering the possibility of enrolling in a few courses that will enrich and grow my different and varied creative gifts a more in-depth way. I also like the advice of moving forward into action. Pro-action is the key. Making business opportunities for myself instead of waiting for others to proposition me with work, puts me in control of my planned vision and it is a great confidence booster. I like the cue of blowing more strongly and becoming more visible above the horizon. Recognising the value of my work and making it more available to others by putting more of my products out on the market will grow my brand. This action will be a catalyst for more work and increased wages leaving me open to receive these gifts. As for shining, I definitely can do that. Polishing up on my gifts with focused dedication will result in a shining display of my work that will be hard to ignore. Being bold and brave in the projects I take on, makes my work available and visible for all to see. And not being obscured by clouds is great advice. I know that the brilliance of the sun is constant behind clouds and challenges like clouds are temporary. They can’t detract me from my mission to do what I do best. Finally, I am taking a liking to my shiny myself and it makes me feel good …. I feel a song coming on……I feeeeeeeeeeel good…ta ta ralalaa ta ralalaa… I feel good… so good. Effortlessly my gratitudes are rising and like the sun they are shining abundantly. Love BEingTreasureTINA
April 23, 2010
Someone commented that perhaps I should rise earlier after I had expressed my frustration at having limited time during the day due to various commitments. Facing the truth is hard. Facing my own truth is harder. At first I was angry but then my inner listener kicked in and patted me on the shoulder, stroked my wounded pride and calmly walked me out of the room. Together we committed too finding the positive in that statement. Running is perfect when one needs to work through issues. So I moved into the day and focused on breathing and running and subconsciously bumped into the word time-management who asked me this blunt questions. Are you really managing your time well or do you allow small unnecessary tasks to keep you from doing the important things that will make a difference in your life? I have to confess it got me thinking. On my return home I immediately wrote out a daily planning schedule,which outlines the tasks I need to fulfil for the day. It took me a little while to do, but now I have a cohesive plan. I am eager to see if it makes a difference. My gut tells me it will. I am smiling as I embrace today’s many gifts.
a) good advise-however awkwardly it comes packaged
b) my gut – that perfect barometer that always tells me the truth
c) my inner listener who is clear-headed and always finding the positive
d) the ever-changing but always perfect weather
e) running
f) planning
g) the time to act and do the things that will bring me joy
My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 13, 2010
Last night the CT 4 Haiti concert rocked. What an amazing audience. Thank you. What an amazing line-up of exceptional musicians we can be proud of. Wow. I went home inspired and in awe of the talent that hit the Richter scale at 10. Today I feel so alive and song seeds are running around in my head, newly sprung from the rich and diverse offerings of music that scattered the room with magical stardust last night. So many wonderful artists, too many to mention, each with a unique offering that enraptured and captured the attention of the audience. Thank you family of musicians, your commitment and dedication to music has helped reaffirm why the gift of sharing music is my vocation. Adding to the evening, professional and exceptional sound technicians buoyed us on the waves of technology, a vital element that we could not have done without. Thank you. Then thumbs up to our generous sponsors whose vision and open hearts ensured the financial backing of the production. Pivotal to it all, the committed and driven organiser Gavin Minter helped bring the evening to perfect fruition. I swear, from where I was sitting, I could see his angel wings. But best of all was the continuous cycle of giving and receiving happening between artist and audience. It was just phenomenal, resulting in a win-win evening for all. Last night was a night of giving, receiving, remembering, supporting, honouring and celebrating our human connection. Long may this evening live in our hearts’ memory, as a tribute to the extraordinary potential in each of us, which patiently waits to be discovered and held to the light. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 17, 2010
I have just laid down my guitar after rehearsing the five final songs for the forthcoming recording and you know what, I am feeling that it is all doable. Yes! I love the way time has a way of smoothing things over that a short while ago looked like an insurmountable mountain. One step at a time really does work. I have also noticed that I have a tendency to be a “Moaning Minnie”. What’s that about? Well it has forced me to look at myself and affirm that the label “victim” is not one I am comfortable with, so I’ve wiped that off my list and replaced it with Proactive PositiveTina. I definitely can live with that. Here’s to the joy of many gratitudes, especially the circle of friends around which my being literally shines as we travel arm in arm through life’s known and unknown destinations. Here’s to the passion which drives each of us to live our lives with intent, purpose and commitment to our vocation of choice. Here’s to the gratitude of recognising the irrefutable truth that artists bring an immeasurable soul to the world, without which life would be valueless. Here’s to the gratitude of learning how to see with ones own eyes the priceless gift we each are to the world and learning how to stand tall and true in ones self-worth. And so it is with gratitude that I salute the miracle alive and present in each of you. Long may your soul-light shine and cast its luminescence on this earth. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 18, 2010
This morning a fresh song danced on my lips, happy to finally be sung, ”Smile” because you can, its simple to dimple up your cheeks and watch it fly across a space, its infectious and catchy too. Charlie Chaplin knew what he was writing about when he wrote the song “Smile”. Something about smiling is just irresistible. When I was a child, I loved being smiled at by strangers… no I’m not talking about the dirty old men kind of smiles. Let’s rewind here. I am talking about the smile one person gives to another, which says hello I see you, I recognise you as a human being. Just that simple act of communication and heart connection has always given me hope in humanity. Of course nothing quite beats the smile from a child, pure love beaming 100 percent. Now that’s a smile I can have any day. Miles of smiles have lighted my life’s journey, the smile of a friend returning my joy at seeing them; the smile in my sons’ eyes when he says I love you; the collaborative smile of a musician enjoying a special moment on stage; the smile of the sun on a balmy day, the smile of the wind caressing my skin; the smiles from a class of children when sharing of hearts and minds has begun. I love these miles and miles of smiles. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
May 21, 2010
Today I am feeling optimistic and putting out the call for gifts to come my way. You see next week I’m recording my second CD. I can’t wait to share it with you. My challenge now is finding sponsorship for each element of the production costs. I believe it’s all doable. If you would like to sponsor an aspect of the production or know of anyone or business in the position to do so, please contact me at tina@tinaschouw.co.za. I’m feeling lucky and any leads would be welcome. I feel privileged to be in the position of inviting assistance and receiving gifts. Already it has begun and for this i am deeply grateful. Sharing the gift of my creative work has blessed me with the love and support of family, friends and fans. Knowing that the work I do soothes, heals uplifts and inspires others, keeps me focused on ensuring that I get my work out there. I am indebted to the wonderful family of musicians, sound engineers, producers, financial advisors and supporters and music lovers whose abundant gifting has kept me writing and doing what I do. Every time I stumble and watch self-doubt smirking from the sidelines, I am able to stand up in the certainty that the unique gift present in me, as it is in each of us, has a right to be proud. And the moment I do that, I hear the retreating footsteps of self-doubt fading into the distance. Each day is a challenge to meet my own measure of how I perceive my work and understand it value. The trick is how to stand true in the belief of what I do when faced by others who measure my value from a different angle. I do know for sure that seeing differently is good because it broadens my vision and grows me to understand the true meaning of compassion and unconditional love. My gratitudes are many. Love BEingTreasureTINA
